Monday, January 23, 2012

Fear Not!!

So I started chemo last week and....


it was horrible!  I came home the first day and felt fine and all of a sudden my body got hot and I hurt!  I remember my mom taking me to drop off Cameron at church and I was just praying for God to give me strength to make it.  I will never forget as soon as I finished my prayer Cameron said "Mommy can we just go home so I can cuddle with you and watch a show."  I never had a prayer answered so quickly.  There was no way I could make it to drop him off. 

Day two was not much better but at least I could walk.  All I could remember was Psalm 23

Even though I walk

through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

To some that sounds scary but to me it was music.  When I first was diagnosed with cancer our Sunday school teacher (Maury Gill) taught a lesson on Psalm 23.  He pointed out that we do not run or walk fast in trials but we walk, and let me tell you these past few days have felt like a slow crawl, but I had peace in knowing Jesus was there holding my hand.  I just kept saying over and over do not fear Cecily Holm for God is with me.

During all this I receive a care package in the mail from a women that I just met.  Her name is Laura and she had breast cancer 10 years ago but she loves the Lord and had some great advice to give me the days before I started chemo.  Anyhow she sent me a bracelet that has Hebrews 13:5 inscribed in it "Never will I leave you or forsake you" 

Ok so to me it was like having front row tickets to Randy Travis or Kenny Rodgers!  I mean seriously!!!!!  Now not only was I chanting " Do not fear Cecily Holm for God is with me and He will NEVER leave me or forsake me!" and I had the bracelet to squeeze in my had. 

God is good all the time no matter what and I have to say the day I got hooked up to chemo will be forever etched in my mind but for those of you who didn't read my facebook post this is what I posted

 Jan. 18 11:03 AM Just got hooked up to my drip and opened my Beth Moore James study the opening verse is " consider it great joy my brother whenever you experience various trials knowing the testing of your faith produces endurance James 1: 2-3

It's true!  I have ran marathons which require some endurance and these past few days were harder then any marathon. I know I have many more hard days to come but today was Good!!





7 comments:

  1. You're such an inspiration. Everything about you just makes me want to smile. I'm so glad God gave me you as a friend!

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  2. I am so proud to have you as my friend! You are such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. God is always with you...and so are MANY others! <3

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  3. Beautiful words and love the strength u have. I know all to well its not easy. How week you feel. The hot flashes , just to name a few. I ended up in the hospital from my first chemo treatment and as I lie there I truely felt like my life was slowly drifting out of me and that it was the end. God sure gives us many trials and tribulations to endure and I have had my share. I am just tired . Glad I read your blog tonight. Gave me some new inspiration. Praying for u. Deana Haynes

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  4. I prayed for you through out the day each day. I sat still many times and wondered how you must be feeling physically and emotionally. the lord brings you to my mind. Every day through out the day and reminds me to intercede on your behalf. I don't know why you are facing this trial but I can see the lord walking you through it. Please take it slow and rest . The angles are all around you to protect you !

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  5. Dear Cecily Holm, I just happened to click on this and began reading. I don't know you and you don't know me.
    But your words touched me. From your prayer being answered so quickly (I call these whispers from God), to Psalm 23. I have also been through some tough times as I guess most of us have. It brought me closer to the Lord than I have ever been. I too am exhliarated and joyous when I hear Psalm 23. I will keep you in my prayers. Prayer your chemo goes by swiftly. You sound like a very strong woman. God bless you and keep you,
    Deana Waller

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  6. Cecily... I know you from mdo, I'm Evan's mom. I just ran across an advertisement for Pink in the Park and realized it was for you. I had NO idea you were going through this! Come to think of it, I bet I have passed by you at mdo and not even realized it was you! I am so sorry to hear that you have been sick, I hope that you are feeling stronger every day. If there's anything that I can do to help, I would be glad to do so. In the mean time I will be sure to share your fundraiser with my friends. HUGS to you, Bridgette Sloane

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  7. Cecily... I don't know if you'll remember me, but you may remember my daughter Erin Archer. I saw the article in the paper and was compelled to check for you on the computer. Glad to see you have a blog, since I don't do Facebook. Want you to know I'll be praying for you and your family and wishing you well. God bless you!

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